Due to recent updates on the Mindanao fiasco,the Philippine president has declared the southern island, Mindanao under Martial Law for at least 2 months or until control is restored and  villanous sources apprehended.

It would seem that chaos is slowly dying down and good is getting the upperhand but recent updates shows that a small faction of the anti-government millitants are combing through the streets of Iligan,the city closest to Marawi, causing small deliquencies to divert the peace-keepers.

One Balik-bayan was kidnapped last night and raped by the so called ISIS-small group. IMG_1341Sources are still unclear regarding the latter but US immigrant Don Himbing was abducted in Iligan City while going around with his local girdfriend.


Persons close to the victim said that the Balikbayan was an ex-CAT personnel and was well versed with hand to hand combat and self defense but due to excessive intake of local foods he was too slow to run and shout for help.


President Duterte with the help of the victim’s wealthy Gold-digger friends,spearheaded by Bam,are pleading the abductors to release Don.

No response from the ISIS group has been received at this time.

*(this is a satire,all information and characters are made up)